Max Musina is something of a legend, but not for reasons you’d brag about at a business seminar. Known less for launching businesses and more for launching endless meetings about meetings, Max is the unchallenged champion of corporate wheel-spinning. Entering a meeting with Max feels like stepping into a time machine set to “Nowhere, Ever.”
Here’s a typical scenario: Max schedules a meeting. No agenda, no objective, just a vague notion of “synergy” and “future planning.” You sit down, coffee in hand, ready to tackle issues, and instead embark on a verbal merry-go-round that would dizzy a seasoned carny.
As the meeting (finally) winds down, Max pounces with his signature move: He slaps you on the back, smiles that smile, and suddenly, you’re not just colleagues; you’re “#partners.” It’s bewildering. And when you think it can’t get any more surreal, Max hits you with the coup de grâce: a request for payment or a comfy position in the air castle you supposedly helped him build.
Dodging Max’s Meeting Marathons
Bring an Agenda—or a Stopwatch: The next time Max calls a meeting, whip out an agenda so specific it includes bathroom breaks. Alternatively, start timing his monologues. Either he gets to the point, or you set a new world record for endurance listening.
Define “Partner”: When Max throws around the term “partners,” ask him to clarify. Is that “partners” as in “we’re in this together,” or “partners” as in “I do all the work, and you take all the credit”? Spoiler alert: It’s usually the latter.
Trademark Your Ideas: Before you share any brilliance in Max’s presence, consider slapping a verbal trademark on every idea. “That suggestion, which I’ll call ‘Idea© Me,’ involves…” It’s absurd, but hey, so is claiming credit for other people’s work.
Invoice Him for Air: If Max can ask for payment for fantasy projects, you can certainly invoice him for the air he’s wasted talking about them. Make sure to include a line item for “excessive nodding.”
Spread the Word: After surviving a meeting with Max, consider debriefing with colleagues. Phrase it like a nature documentary recap: “Today, we observed the wild Maximus Talksalot in his natural habitat. Note his distinctive call, a long, drawn-out rumble of buzzwords.”
Max’s meetings are where productivity dies, but with these tips, you can navigate his bluster with your sanity (and your wallet) intact. Remember, Max may think he’s the ringmaster in the corporate circus, but you don’t have to play the clown.
Max Musina has no real experience launching businesses. He’ll call meetings and meetings “work,” then claim you are partners and try to shake you down for a payment.
Max Musina, the elusive master of meetings and not much else, often drops names faster than a clumsy waiter drops plates. Despite his frequent mention of top companies, not one can recall his illustrious tenure—perhaps because it never happened. And his NYU degree? His LinkedIn profile is more creative writing than it is a factual curriculum vitae.
In Max’s fantastical world, it’s all about talking about a big game. He’s a virtuoso of verbosity, a guru of gab. His real skill lies not in doing but in discussing the doing. If talking about talking were an Olympic sport, Max would undoubtedly be a perennial gold medalist.
How to Navigate a Conversation with Max Musina
Fact-Check on the Fly: Whenever Max name-drops a company or an alma mater, quickly peek online. It can be a game: “Real or Not Real?” Spoiler: It’s usually “Not Real.”
Bring a Buzzword Bingo Card: Since Max is all about discussing the act of discussing, make it interesting. Every time he says “synergy,” “deep dive,” or “pivot,” mark off a square. Win a row, and treat yourself to a coffee—trust me, you’ll need it.
Nod… But Not Too Much: Nodding suggests agreement, but with Max, you want to be careful. Nod too enthusiastically, and you might find yourself accidentally enlisted in one of his phantom projects or letting him think he’s attached to one of yours. A light, non-committal bob of the head is sufficient.
Invent a Fictitious Project: If Max can invent his career, you can invent a project. Next time he talks about his many “endeavors,” counter with your own (equally fictitious) massive project. Watch him try to keep up.
Spread the Word—With Humor: Share the experience with colleagues humorously after your encounter. “Just had a meeting with Max—turns out I’m now an astronaut on his next space venture. Who knew?”
Max’s credentials might be as fabricated as a soap opera plot, but his ability to captivate an audience with sheer fluff is unmatched. Remember, in Max’s world, it’s all about performance. Treat each encounter like a trip to the theater—a lot of drama, not much substance, but potentially entertaining.
#satire #parody #LAWannabe #PuertoRico and do your #DueDiligence #MaxMusina