“The golf industry is worth £5.1bn! OMG, let’s make a movie about it…we’re going to be rich!”
James Manera, the poor soul with actual dreams of making it big, has come up with a winner: Eighteen: The Jack Nicklaus Story. A gripping sports drama that could finally get him into the big leagues.
But Max? Max is the guy who stumbled into this project like a squirrel discovering a treasure chest. “The golf industry is worth £5.1bn! OMG, let’s make a movie about it…. we’re going to be rich!” he shrieked, his eyes lighting up with that familiar gleam—like he’s just won the lottery (or scammed someone who has).
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Max Musina—affectionately known as “The Curse” in the film industry—has once again found himself at the helm of someone else’s hard work. And in true Musina fashion, he’s already mentally spent his fortune before earning a single penny. The moment the words “billion-dollar industry” entered the conversation, Max was probably pre-ordering a solid gold golf cart and a yacht shaped like a golf ball, blissfully unaware of the minor detail that… well, there’s no money yet. Or a movie. Or a plan. Or, you know, reality.
Max quickly went into full BS mode, making promises grander than a royal wedding: Puerto Rico tax credits (because who doesn’t want to film a golf movie in Puerto Rico?), investments from mystery “international sources” (read: probably his cousin Steve), and partnerships with vague-sounding companies that could very well be running a gelato truck on the side. “We’re 50/50 partners, right, bro?” Max asked, grinning like he hadn’t already planned to ghost the moment the real work started.
The King of Name-Dropping
But Max’s real talent lies in one thing: name-dropping. Beacon Pictures, Sony, Netflix, Warner Bros, Amazon—you name it, Max will pretend like he’s got each of them on speed dial.
You can almost hear him casually slipping in lines like, “I know someone who knows someone who knows Matt Damon. He’d be perfect as Jack Nicklaus. Or maybe Brad Pitt? Leonardo DiCaprio, even?” He’s got his imaginary Hollywood Rolodex spinning so fast you’d think he was hosting the Oscars.
“Don’t worry, CAA will package it!”
Of course, it doesn’t stop there. Max loves to talk up the big agencies, too. “Don’t worry, I’ve got someone at CAA and WME who’ll love this,” he’ll say, as if he’s grabbing lunch with the head of these agencies next week. In Max’s world, these agencies are just lining up to package this “billion-dollar golf flick” for free. Because why wouldn’t they?
What Max conveniently forgets—or doesn’t understand—is that agencies like CAA and WME don’t just swoop in to package indie sports dramas out of the goodness of their hearts. They represent money—real money—and until you’ve got some on the table, their attention is elsewhere.
Without cash upfront, all you’re getting is, well… another round of Max’s favorite pastime: meetings about meetings. Lots of handshakes, vague promises, and maybe a coffee. Max’s specialty.
Endless Meetings and Zero Results
Meanwhile, poor James Manera is probably out there hustling, actually trying to get this movie off the ground while Max spends hours on the phone telling anyone who will listen that they’re “just one step away from securing Brad Pitt as Jack Nicklaus.” As if Brad even knows who Max is.
And how does this all end? Most likely in tears. And legal threats. Because once Max’s fantasy promises evaporate and James miraculously gets the movie made despite him, you can bet Max will be banging on doors demanding his “rightful share.” He’ll claim at least 50%, plus compensation for “emotional distress” because “he wasn’t included in the crucial golf scenes.”
The Reality of Max’s “Visionary” Status
But here’s hoping the golf world sees through Max’s BS, and James finds real backers who can actually help him make his dream a reality. After all, Jack Nicklaus doesn’t need a glorified con artist claiming he’s the visionary behind it all. And no group in their right mind is going to trust “Bank of Musina” with their hard-earned cash. Unless, of course, they’re looking to invest in imaginary yachts and gold golf carts.
Let’s Hope James Tees Off and Max Hits the Bunker
So, while Max sits in his fantasy yacht planning his billionaire life, James Manera is out there doing the hard yards. Here’s hoping he sends Max straight into the bunker where he belongs.